Nepotist carols and gordouli

On the last Friday of Michaelmas, Balliol had nepotist carols. Everyone came in to hall, was handed christmas carols lyrics, mulled wine and mince pies, and the singing started. No nice Oxford choir; 200 people, some with voices almost as bad as mine, singing to the best of their ability carols in English and Latin. Before this experience, I disliked christmas carols, feeling disconnected with their merriness. But, the next day, I was walking around humming jingle bells, trying to remember how it went.
After the carols, we marched to Trinity's gates. Balliol traditionally sings abuse at Trinity's gates, but after some unfortunate events a few years ago, the college has been trying to stop the practice: to stop us, they locked the front gate. The crowd, for once purposeful, went around the back and on the gate, and sung Bloody Trinity, shouting, etc. A brave car backed through the gate into the crowd, which parted gracefully. Passants on Broad St stopped and looked on to one of Oxford's many odd traditions. We were meant to sing the Gordouli but no one knew it, so we shouted Bloody Trinity. I hope that next year we'll get the song printed and handed out. Here it is:
The Gordouli

1
Gordooley!
He's got a face like a ham,
'Cos Bobby Johnson says so,
And he should know!

(chorus) Bloody Trinity!
Bloody Trinity!
Bloody Trinity!
2
Menaites once, Menaites twice,
Holy jumping Jesus Christ,
Flim, flam, wham, bam, oh, shit!
3
If i were a trinity man i would, i would
I'd go into a public weir, i would, i would,
I'd pull the chain and disappear I would i would
4
I don't give a fuck or a damn
Who the hell or what I am,
As long as I'm not a trinity man!
5
I'm a bastard, I'm a bastard, I'm a bastard yes I am,
But i'd rather be a bastard than a bloody trinity man
6
Trinity's burning, Trinity's burning
Fetch the engine, Fetch the engine
Fire, fire! Fire, fire!
Pour on petrol Pour on petrol
7
Goodnight Trinity; goodnight trinity,
goodnight trinity - we're going to leave you now.
But before we go -